I'm thoroughly disappointed in the bachelorette Ali's maturity! Frank screws you over and you don't want to leave him AND give him a hug before he leaves you for his ex-girlfriend? What are you thinking?!? I'm sorry, maybe this is my Jersey-ness kicking in, but he would have had an imprint of the bottom of my flip-flop on his cheek. Watch out ABC producers, Jersey Shore meets the Bachelorette.
Gee Frank, I'm glad you had an epiphany two episodes before the finale that you were in love with your ex-girlfriend. (Who might I add, is not as cute as Ali.) Frank seemed to be a few French Fries short of a happy meal as is, but this decision solidifies my original assessment of him... LOSER!!! I'll be taking bets on whether this is another publicity stunt to launch his newly discovered acting career or not. Hey, maybe he and Jake can star in a sitcom together!
And Ali, as much as I like you, you cried entirely way too many tears over him. Cut your losses and move on! You have two great guys left. Personally, I'm team Chris! Any guy who cares that much about his family is good in my book.
Unfortunately, I've read a few spoilers and if Ali really does choose to go solo I'll be rather disappointed for two reasons. Reason #1, I love, love, love Chris and I don't think he deserves to have his heart broken. Reason #2, I have dedicated my entire life to keeping up with this stupid show and like Frank, I will have no closure after this season and feel like a huge nerd!
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
Sunday, July 18, 2010
Oregon Trail Life Lessons
I'm not really sure who came up with the saying that "money doesn't buy you happiness," because I'm thinking it was probably someone rich and unhappy who was bored with rolling around in their sacks of money. I am a true believer that money CAN buy you happiness, if spent on the correct things. I don't know about you, but I know that new clothes make me happy, going on extravagant vacations makes me pretty happy, and purchasing a new car would really make me happy. I don't think I've ever really seen a woman leaving the mall, arms filled with bags of new clothing with a frown on her face. It's just not genetically possible. To obtain each of those you need that funny green stuff that the government spits out from the Treasury Department. You know, it comes in check form from that awful 9-5 job you go to Mondays through Fridays. It's not like I can pay for these things with rainbows and butterflies.
It's very frustrating to me when bills come at the exact same time as your pay check, total conspiracy. I feel like the people at the electric company stalk my mail person until they find out when pay day is, and then they gingerly slip a $145 electric bill in my mailbox and walk away whistling, possibly twisting their handlebar mustache, and swinging around a walking cane in the other hand. By the time I'm done paying by bills, I'm left with a couple coins and some lint in my pocket, only to lather, rinse, and repeat or something like that.
I wish life could be like a rap video, rolling around in hundred dollar bills, spraying expensive champagne, possibly getting shot at by another rival gangster group. I could be happy doing all of the above, minus the last one. If I made it big in the rap industry maybe I could even feature my house on MTV's cribs. This is my living room....walk four steps, that is my kitchen....walk five steps, that is my bedroom...end tour. I'd feel so accomplished filming the ending scene of me waving outside my front door. The apartment 10M sign showing and I'd say something witty like don't hit my VDub on the way out, she's my baby. However, I know that rap is just not in my future, I'm just not that good at rhyming.
Whatever happened to the bartering system? I have some pretty good stuff I could trade. Oregon Trail had it easy compared to today. Hungry? Stop and shoot some buffalo. Thirsty? Take a swig from the old canteen and possibly run the risk of catching Dysentery. The biggest decision they had to make was forge the river or caulk and float. Please, no one took the ferry because it costs money and those future Oregonians didn't have time for that. Big deal, you lose a child or two. You have to be a half glass full kind of person. Yeah, maybe you lost two kids, but you lightened the load for your oxen AND freed up more space for some extra buffalo meat. So what did Oregon Trail really teach us? Save your money. Food and supplies are more important than children. Every pioneer for themselves. Life is hard and then, just before you reach the end of the trail you die, of Typhoid. Hmm.... I guess Oregon Trail was preparing us for real life.
It's very frustrating to me when bills come at the exact same time as your pay check, total conspiracy. I feel like the people at the electric company stalk my mail person until they find out when pay day is, and then they gingerly slip a $145 electric bill in my mailbox and walk away whistling, possibly twisting their handlebar mustache, and swinging around a walking cane in the other hand. By the time I'm done paying by bills, I'm left with a couple coins and some lint in my pocket, only to lather, rinse, and repeat or something like that.
I wish life could be like a rap video, rolling around in hundred dollar bills, spraying expensive champagne, possibly getting shot at by another rival gangster group. I could be happy doing all of the above, minus the last one. If I made it big in the rap industry maybe I could even feature my house on MTV's cribs. This is my living room....walk four steps, that is my kitchen....walk five steps, that is my bedroom...end tour. I'd feel so accomplished filming the ending scene of me waving outside my front door. The apartment 10M sign showing and I'd say something witty like don't hit my VDub on the way out, she's my baby. However, I know that rap is just not in my future, I'm just not that good at rhyming.
Whatever happened to the bartering system? I have some pretty good stuff I could trade. Oregon Trail had it easy compared to today. Hungry? Stop and shoot some buffalo. Thirsty? Take a swig from the old canteen and possibly run the risk of catching Dysentery. The biggest decision they had to make was forge the river or caulk and float. Please, no one took the ferry because it costs money and those future Oregonians didn't have time for that. Big deal, you lose a child or two. You have to be a half glass full kind of person. Yeah, maybe you lost two kids, but you lightened the load for your oxen AND freed up more space for some extra buffalo meat. So what did Oregon Trail really teach us? Save your money. Food and supplies are more important than children. Every pioneer for themselves. Life is hard and then, just before you reach the end of the trail you die, of Typhoid. Hmm.... I guess Oregon Trail was preparing us for real life.
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